I've not been writing here since I first created it... nor my other blog either. I've been slacking :)
I have worked a bit on my time line but it needs a bit more and then I'll post it as a page here and link it to the side. Hopefully ----------> that away. :)
(it's <---------- that way :D)
Mostly I've been keeping busy.... I tend to go inward before tests as well as before and after treatments and since there have been a lot of them in the last year I've been inward a lot.
This isn't a bad thing mind you; as I said I keep busy and stay as positive as I can.
Today is the scan following the embolization of my liver 5 weeks ago. I see the surgeon on Monday and he and his colleagues will see that it worked; and the tumors are dying and we can decide the next step. Which would be to do the same thing to the rest of the tumors in the liver. (this is intentionally phrased this way; in a positive manner with the end result I want; rather then saying things like "hopefully" and "maybe".)
This is the first time I'd had this procedure. When the first two of the tumors showed up in early 2011 they removed them with radio ablation. The first one had a slightly difficult recovery as they'd annoyed my diaphragm but the second, amazingly, was totally pain free. I mean totally. I didn't even need a Tylonal.
As you'll see in my timeline (when I finish it) I and my medical team have chosen not to use Chemotherapy. While it had been suggested by Dana Farber back in 2002; the research at that time showed little if no good results. Today they have fine tuned it further to specific drugs but still not in high percentages... so I'm waiting and hopefully, first; I will never need it. But if I do it will be when we can't find an alternative.
I was fortunate to find really good oncologist right here in sleepy Berkshire County MA. (though in the beginning I went all over the place talking to Sarcoma Specialists). Including my radiation oncologist: the first thing he said to me I wasn't going to die. He was the first oncologist I'd met who ever said that. (Medical Hexing is another subject for another post in the future; but beware allowing things even doctors say to penetrate your Spirit and resolve)
Historically (again referencing the promised timeline) the tumors that have shown up in my lungs, fatty tissue on my waist line and in January 2012, two on my spine, were removed with resection (surgically removed).
The original tumor removed in late 2001 and the 2012 spinal ones were followed up with radiation. Another technology that has evolved a lot in the last ten years.
I'm actually feeling well. In another post in the future I'll discuss things I have done in the past and present as far as lifestyle changes.
The good news for those of you recently diagnosed and who find your way here is that I've been living with this for almost 11 years now. I was originally told to (verbatim from one doctor) "Get your affairs in order and take that last vacation". This is one of those times where you really want to prove them wrong. :)
So now I'm waiting for Monday. They various oncologists get together on Wednesday mornings to discuss their current patients, including moi, so historically I probably won't hear anything definitive until the end of next week.
This is where being Zen comes in. One can't allow this to get to one; the waiting that is (or anything else for that matter). I strongly believe that if you allow yourself to live in a state of fear and anxiety it effects your physical state as well as emotional/mental and Spirit (however you define the latter). It doesn't help the waiting; it makes it worse.
I'll post here what the outcome is and the next step.